


In A Perfect World

by Hyunjins_lipring



Series: JinJin Diaries [4]
Category: GOT7, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Other Stray Kids members are there at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-07 21:35:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17373704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyunjins_lipring/pseuds/Hyunjins_lipring
Summary: Perhaps if Jinyoung truly loved him, he should let Hyunjin go. {4 months}





	1. Chapter 1

[6:47pm] Hyunjin: Hey what are you up to?

[6:49pm] Jinyoung: Hey babe :) Just editing music in the studio with JB

[6:50pm] Hyunjin: Writing a love song about me? ;)

[6:52pm] Jinyoung: I don't kiss and tell ;) Wanna get dinner soon?

[6:54pm] Hyunjin: Yeah. I'll meet you at the café in 15 minutes?

[6:56pm] Jinyoung: Sounds perfect. I love you. 

[6:57pm] Hyunjin: I love you too :)

“What are you smiling at?” Jaebum asked, sitting next to Jinyoung behind the mixing console of the recording studio. The two of them were editing tracks for their next album, the deadline approaching faster than either of them expected. 

Jinyoung slid his phone back into his pocket, a small smile still lingering on his lips. “Nothing. Just texting a friend.”

Leaning back in his desk chair, Jaebum glanced at Jinyoung with a playful suspicion in his eyes. “Hyunjin?” 

Jinyoung rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Am I that obvious?”

Jaebum chuckled and crossed his arms. “How are things between you two?” 

That was a question Jinyoung wasn't sure how to answer. He wanted to shout his love from the rooftops and tell everyone about how perfect Hyunjin was. However, he wasn't sure if Hyunjin would be okay with other people knowing about them. But Jaebum wasn't just anyone, was he? He was Jinyoung's best friend, someone he could trust. 

Jinyoung thought carefully before speaking. “Really good. We, um… “ He braced himself for Jaebum’s reaction. “We've actually been dating for almost four months.”

Jaebum raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything, so Jinyoung continued. 

“It's been the best four months of my life.” Jinyoung laughed nervously. “I love him. A lot.”

Jaebum stared at him for a long time before speaking up. “I knew you guys were spending a lot of time together but… Why haven't you said anything before?” 

“Well, I haven't really talked to him about whether or not we were going to tell people about us,” Jinyoung admitted. 

“Are you sure it's a good idea?” Jaebum asked him. 

Jinyoung was beginning to feel anxious.“What do you mean?”

“That you guys are dating,” Jaebum clarified. He was looking at his friend with a sort of pity in his eyes. “It's kind of a big risk. A gay relationship rumor could ruin both of your careers. Not to mention the age difference.”

Jinyoung knew that Jaebum wasn't trying to be cynical. As the leader of GOT7, he was just looking out for his fellow member and friend. However, Jinyoung still felt irritated, as he was well aware of the risks of his relationship with Hyunjin. He knew what he was getting himself into. 

Not wanting to let on how bothered he was, Jinyoung forced a smile. “We’ll be careful.”

~ ~ ~ 

That night at dinner, Jinyoung was quiet. He let Hyunjin dominate the conversation, content to just listen to the boy’s voice. 

As Hyunjin excitedly ranted about Stray Kids’ next comeback, Jinyoung's mind began to wander. Was he putting Hyunjin in danger? If anyone found out about them, it would be the end of everything they have both worked so hard for. Hyunjin deserved to shine doing what he loved. Perhaps if Jinyoung truly loved him, he should let him go. 

~ ~ ~ 

The next afternoon, Jinyoung texted Hyunjin to meet him in a private practice room. When the boy arrived, Jinyoung led him to sit next to him in one of the plastic chairs against the wall. Hyunjin smiled at him so brightly, which made Jinyoung feel even worse for what he was about to do. 

“Baby --” Jinyoung cut himself off. He should probably hold off on the pet names for now. “Um, we need to talk.”

Hyunjin’s smile fell instantly. “Is something wrong?”

Jinyoung looked at Hyunjin’s innocent face, dreading the upcoming conversation. But he had to do this. Before it was too late. 

Perhaps it already was too late. 

“I don't think our relationship is a good idea,” Jinyoung said, his voice quiet. 

Hyunjin tilted his head in confusion, and Jinyoung's heart wrenched at how adorable he was. 

“What do you mean? Are you unhappy?”

Jinyoung sighed heavily. This was not going to be easy. “No. God, no. I'm so happy, but… Your future is so bright, Hyunjin, and I don't want to hold you back from that.” 

“Hyung, you're not holding me back from anything,” Hyunjin stated, taking the older boy's hand. “Where did you get that from?”

Looking down at their hands, Jinyoung swallowed hard. “I was talking with Jaebum, and I think it would be too dangerous to continue our relationship.”

Hyunjin let out a small gasp and released Jinyoung's hand. “Are you breaking up with me?”

Jinyoung bit his lip, still unable to look up at Hyunjin. “Jaebum and I --”

“No, I heard you.” Hyunjin sounded angry now, and Jinyoung's throat tightened. “Since when are we letting other people make decisions about our relationship?”

Feeling defensive, Jinyoung finally made eye contact with the younger boy. “It was my decision, Hyunjin. I'm doing this for your sake.”

Tears began to form in Hyunjin's eyes as his voice got louder. “My sake? How is this for my sake?”

Jinyoung raised his voice in retaliation. He didn't want to yell at Hyunjin, but the boy needed to understand. “If our relationship went public, we would be finished as idols. Everything would be destroyed. You only just started your career, and I can't be the one that ruins it for you. The only way to prevent that is for us to stop this.”

“Jinyoung,” Hyunjin whimpered. He sounded so broken, and Jinyoung's heart shattered into a million pieces. He hated himself for doing this. “Is our love not worth it?”

Jinyoung couldn't answer that honestly, because Hyunjin was completely worth it. If Jinyoung had his way, he would show off his beautiful boyfriend to everyone. He would hold Hyunjin’s hand in public, kiss his cheeks in public, hug his waist in public. But they didn't live in a perfect world, and Jinyoung wasn't allowed to do those things without consequences. 

“Please don't do this,” Hyunjin pleaded. The tears made his eyes sparkle in the fluorescent lighting of the small practice room. Jinyoung thought he looked so pretty when he cried, and that only made saying his next words more difficult. 

“I'm sorry. I can't be your boyfriend anymore. It's not fair to you.”

Jinyoung stood up and walked over to the door, placing his hand on the handle. He could hear Hyunjin quietly sobbing behind him, and wanted nothing more than to go hold him and comfort him. Instead, he pulled the door open and walked out of the room, leaving Hyunjin with nothing but his tears.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hyunjin, are you okay?” Woojin asked, taking a seat next to the boy on the floor against the wall. The other members of Stray Kids were scattered throughout the green room, preparing for the “I Am YOU” showcase. However, Hyunjin couldn't seem to focus, his heart and mind still dwelling on the conversation with Jinyoung from the week before. 

Woojin was watching him with concern, and Hyunjin attempted to hide the sadness in his eyes by keeping his gaze down. 

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just trying to get centered before we go on stage,” Hyunjin lied. Part of him wanted to just tell Woojin the truth. None of the members even knew he was dating Jinyoung, but he didn't feel like getting into that whole story right now. Woojin was great at comforting others, and Hyunjin definitely needed some of that comfort at the moment. 

Detecting Hyunjin's sorrow, Woojin put his arm around the boy's shoulders and pulled him in close. He didn't question Hyunjin any further. He just sat there with him, keeping him company. 

Hyunjin struggled to keep from crying, almost crumbling under Woojin’s gentle touch. The last few days hadn't involved much besides endless hours of dance practice and vocal rehearsals. Despite the exhaustion, all the members had been enthusiastically anticipating this day for weeks. But Hyunjin didn't feel quite so excited anymore. The physical fatigue coupled with his broken heart were threatening to send him over the edge. 

Before the tears could make their way down Hyunjin's cheeks, one of the makeup noonas called out his name, mentioning that someone was there to see him. He looked up and spotted Jinyoung walking through the door, holding a small bouquet of white carnations. Hyunjin's breath caught in his throat. 

“Could I talk to Hyunjin alone?” Jinyoung asked the room. 

The entire staff scattered out of the room, but Hyunjin’s fellow members stayed put, their eyes darting back and forth between the two boys. 

Jinyoung waited for them to leave, but Hyunjin spoke up. “Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of them.”

Jinyoung sighed, reluctantly accepting the situation. He strolled across the room to where Hyunjin was sitting on the floor and kneeled down in front of him. Woojin still had a protective arm around the younger boy. 

Hyunjin wanted to scream at Jinyoung. He wanted tell him off and let him know just how much he had hurt him. But the moment he looked into Jinyoung's eyes, he was home. He despised the fact that regardless of how angry he was at older boy, Hyunjin still felt comforted by his presence. Jinyoung had left him, but Hyunjin was still head-over-heels in love. 

“What do you want?” Hyunjin said, attempting to sound casual. He couldn't let Jinyoung know how emotional he was right now. 

“Hyunjinie,” Jinyoung started. The younger boy winced at the nickname. “A few days ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I broke the heart of the one person I love the most. I want to sincerely apologize. Oh, um… I brought you these.”

Jinyoung offered the bouquet to Hyunjin, who accepted it with hesitant hands. 

Noticing that Hyunjin was still unconvinced, Jinyoung continued. “I know I was wrong. I was so wrong. You're the love of my life, and of course you're worth it.”

Hyunjin couldn't believe Jinyoung was saying all of this in front of everyone, but he still wanted to hear what the man had to say. “Keep going,” he said, his expression remaining neutral. 

Hope bloomed in Jinyoung’s chest. “I once wished that we lived in a perfect world. A world where we could be ourselves and love each other openly without consequences. Now, I know the world we live in isn't perfect, but my world is.” The tiniest smile formed on his face. “Because, baby, you're my world.” 

Hyunjin knew he probably shouldn't forgive Jinyoung so easily, but Hyunjin had missed him so much. He glanced over at Woojin and nodded his head, signaling to his hyung that everything was alright. Nodding back, Woojin retracted his arm and stood up, making his way across the room to stand next to Chan. 

Finally letting his guard down, Hyunjin looked back at Jinyoung. “I've missed you.”

“I've missed you, too.” Jinyoung licked his lips nervously. “Will you take me back?”

Hyunjin allowed himself to smile as he brought the flowers up to his nose. Jinyoung thought the boy's beauty put the flowers to shame.

“Yes. But only if you swear to never break my heart ever again.” 

Jinyoung's eyes welled up. “Never again.”

Hyunjin threw himself at Jinyoung, hugging him tight and almost knocking him over. He pressed his lips hard against Jinyoung's, and Jinyoung's arms instantly wrapped around the younger boy's waist. It was the best kiss either of them had ever experienced. Hyunjin swore he could physically feel his heart putting itself back together. 

Someone in the room whooped (it sounded like Jisung), and Hyunjin looked past Jinyoung to see all the other members watching them with fond smiles. Minho whispered “get it,” causing Hyunjin to giggle into Jinyoung's shoulder. The older boy pulled him in tighter, and Hyunjin sighed contently. He was happier than he had ever been before, surrounded by his family, in the arms of the man he loved more than anything.


End file.
